I while back I came across this weirdly listenable song called Mary Pickford. It's about United Artists...You guys do watch movies, right?
Anyway, here are some of the lyrics:
Mary Pickford used to eat roses
Thought that they'd make her beautiful and they did,
One supposes.
Douglas Fairbanks, he was so handsome,
He wore a moustache,
Must-a had much cash, too,
Worth a king's ransom,
Charlie Chaplin, he was invited,
When these artists became united.
When these artists became united.
David Griffith worked as an extra,
Then as a stagehand,
Until they let him be
A director
Dave was brave, a mover and shaker,
A true pioneer,
He seemed to show no fear,
A real film maker
Just like Chaplin, he was invited,
When these artists became united.
When these artists became united.
They tied the knot together,
Groom and bride couldn't hide their pleasure.
They tried to pick fair weather,
But love died, didn't last forever.
I don't know about you out there, but I immediately thought about doing a JLI remix. Enjoy (and try singing it). Better yet, try to compose something better.
Martian Manhunter used to eat Oreos
Thought that they contained no lard but they did,
One supposes.
Michael Jon Carter, came from the Future
He wore a gold suit,
Must-a won much loot, too,
Worth a jackpot,
Ice Maiden, she was invited,
When these heroes became united.
When these heroes became united.
Theodore Kord worked as an sidekick,
Then as a hero,
Until they let him be
A martyr
Ted was brave, inventor and acrobat,
A true pioneer,
He seemed to show no fear,
Swordless musketeer
Just like Tora, he was invited,
When these heroes became united.
When these heroes became united.
They banded together,
Heroes and teammates couldn't hide their pleasure.
They tried to pick fair weather,
But they were disbanded, didn't last forever.
Yes, please compose better lyrics...sigh
Showing posts with label DCU. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DCU. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
If DC ever created their own FF – The Smarter than Batman Edition (Now with extra IQ Points!)
I’ve written two of these posts, here and here. Without further ado, here’s my third DC FF proposal:
1] Doctor Light
No, not him. Her. Kimiyo Hoshi. Light powers and an advance understanding of Physics are both extremely useful. Also, she’ll stop this team from becoming a “Sausage fest” (Can’t believe I just typed that :)
2] Mister Terrific
Michael Holt is listed as the 3rd smartest guy on the planet. He possesses significant martial arts skills and uses loads of techno-gadgets. Mr. Terrific also wields an uber-cool power of being invisible to technology.
3] Mister Miracle
Yes, this is a repeat of the original post. My reasons given in my previous DC Fantastic Four post still hold. Inventive genius and all that...
Semi-unrelated rant:
Although Ragman isn’t on this team, I still haven’t given up on Mr. Miracle and Ragman potential BFFdom (that’s Best-Friends-Forever-dom...You know, like fandom but with best friends and it has nothing to do with dominance which seems to be a recurring theme with Scott Free on this blog :). Call me a sucker for hero bromance, but where are the NEW hero friendships these days? There is a long tradition in the DCU* of great friendships: Supes and Bats; Hal and Barry and Ollie; Blue and Gold; Arthur and Katar; J’onn and Captain Marvel; and even Kyle and Wally (and Conner) to a degree. When did heroes stop needing fellowship or camaraderie with other heroes? It’s not like they can log on to a hero blogosphere and talk about their heroic lives...And their civilian wives/husbands or girlfriends/boyfriends can’t really fill that void.
*There is a relative absence of such strong friendships in the Marvel Universe. I can only thing of 2 or 3 comparable friendship pairings off the top of my head and none reach the mutual admiration of the Supes-Bats dyad or the intensity of the Hal-Barry-Ollie threesome. There are actually more examples of the Hawkman-Green Arrow constant disagreement dynamic. It’s actually quite weird.
4] The Atom
Ray Palmer is the perfect guy to be on this team. He’s a physicist and general sub-atomic tinkerer and, believe me, this team is all about tinkering.
5] Steel
Okay, so what are they about?
At first, I didn’t have a name or specific mission/purpose for the team, but after looking at the assembled team (beyond just their intelligence), I may have come up with both.
Basically, we have heroes who can get in just about anywhere unseen (Mr. Terrific and Atom), a guy who’s impossible to trap/contain (Mr. Miracle), a scientist who has control over light (Dr. Light), an armoured butt-kicker-inventor with a big hammer (Steel), and a guy who can examine machines without taking them apart (The Atom). All of them are super-smart.
Team name: Omega Annex
Mission:
To build me a star ship and then serve as my crew.
No, seriously, here’s their true Mission/Purpose:
To commandeer and protect or disable potentially dangerous (or classified as Omega-level) technology from super-powered threats.
Their first (team-up) storyline:
It begins with each hero receiving a letter informing them of the death of the justice league villain, the Weapons Master, as well as the names of the recipients of the other letters. Huh? Some of them had never met the Weapons Master. So, why are they receiving these letters? The letters request them to see his lawyer (or executor of his will) for more detail. Scientists and inventors are nothing if not curious, so after a few conference calls, they decide to see what’s what.
Once there, his lawyer shows them a video from the Weapons Master – it looks a few years old. WM tells them that although he was a villain, he was basically just in it for himself and not super evil. Bottom line, the Weapons Master bequeathed “keys” to his dimensional armoury, because they were the only ones he trusts. They’re heroes and scientists. Begrudgingly, they accept their inheritance, because as the WM asked in the video recording, “What if it were to fall into the wrong hands?”
On their first or second visit to the armoury, they discover dossiers (including histories, enemies, and psych profiles) on several bad guys and worse guys who are in possession of extremely destructive (planet-killing) weapons plus their intended targets. Of course, the heroes decide to disarm the bad guys and take possession of these weapons for global safe-keeping. Fast-forward to just after their last and most dangerous mission, when the Weapons Master shows up very much alive and “ejects and locks” the newly formed Omega Annex out of his dimensional armoury. Yeah, WM can do that. “Thanks for procuring these weapons. I felt it was too dangerous to risk my own life for them...They’ll make great additions to my collection.”
Of course, it doesn’t end there. These are five super-smart heroes, after all.
Fun facts about Omega Annex:
1] During their free time, they watch a continuous loop of Big Bang Theory re-runs and Discovery Channel documentaries.
2] They have free time, because they built two dedicated computer systems to handle tedious chores like monitor duty (complete with monitor duty banter settings for the team's amusement in case they ever run out of Big Bang Theory re-runs).
Other insights from this fanboy exercise:
I’ve also considered calling them “The thinkers” or “Brains Trust” or “Think Tank” or “Mindworks” or “Heroes Who Think”, but that may have been somewhat insulting to the rest of the DCU.
It was pretty hard to compile this team once I went the Science and Technology hero route. It seems that DC Comics is the universe of detectives (Batman, The Question, Martian Manhunter, Green Arrow, and several others) while Marvel is the universe of scientists (Reed Richards, Professor X, Beast, Hank Pym, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and others).
In the DCU, even those not prone to investigate as heroes have investigative civilian careers such as reporters (Clark Kent) and social workers (Guy Gardner). This is perhaps understandable since the DC in the name DC Comics refers to Detective Comics (the company’s first most popular title). So, DC Comics is really Detective Comics Comics.
In the Marvel U, it’s hard to lob a rock into a bush without hitting a hero with a scientific background. Heck, even Peter Parker was an inventive and scientific genius in high school! It’s also not uncommon for Marvel’s (on average seven or eight member) teams to have three scientist or inventor heroes. It must’ve been the influence of the space race. So, Marvel Comics is really Scientific Marvel Comics.
All of this should make parents happy, because both universes promote asking questions (DC through detection and Marvel through Science) and that is some of the best life advice you can give kids. Superhero comics as life skills tools...Believe it.
Of course, this is off-set by several larger-than-life heroes who are former career-military or law enforcement types who never really question orders until it’s too late (Captain America, Hal Jordan, Hawkman). Hey, no educational material is ever perfect...
1] Doctor Light
No, not him. Her. Kimiyo Hoshi. Light powers and an advance understanding of Physics are both extremely useful. Also, she’ll stop this team from becoming a “Sausage fest” (Can’t believe I just typed that :)
2] Mister Terrific
Michael Holt is listed as the 3rd smartest guy on the planet. He possesses significant martial arts skills and uses loads of techno-gadgets. Mr. Terrific also wields an uber-cool power of being invisible to technology.
3] Mister Miracle
Yes, this is a repeat of the original post. My reasons given in my previous DC Fantastic Four post still hold. Inventive genius and all that...
Semi-unrelated rant:
Although Ragman isn’t on this team, I still haven’t given up on Mr. Miracle and Ragman potential BFFdom (that’s Best-Friends-Forever-dom...You know, like fandom but with best friends and it has nothing to do with dominance which seems to be a recurring theme with Scott Free on this blog :). Call me a sucker for hero bromance, but where are the NEW hero friendships these days? There is a long tradition in the DCU* of great friendships: Supes and Bats; Hal and Barry and Ollie; Blue and Gold; Arthur and Katar; J’onn and Captain Marvel; and even Kyle and Wally (and Conner) to a degree. When did heroes stop needing fellowship or camaraderie with other heroes? It’s not like they can log on to a hero blogosphere and talk about their heroic lives...And their civilian wives/husbands or girlfriends/boyfriends can’t really fill that void.
*There is a relative absence of such strong friendships in the Marvel Universe. I can only thing of 2 or 3 comparable friendship pairings off the top of my head and none reach the mutual admiration of the Supes-Bats dyad or the intensity of the Hal-Barry-Ollie threesome. There are actually more examples of the Hawkman-Green Arrow constant disagreement dynamic. It’s actually quite weird.
4] The Atom
Ray Palmer is the perfect guy to be on this team. He’s a physicist and general sub-atomic tinkerer and, believe me, this team is all about tinkering.
5] Steel
I know this is supposed to be a four-hero team, but I felt the team might be a little light on muscle. In addition, John Henry Irons is a great mix of brains and brawn.
Okay, so what are they about?
At first, I didn’t have a name or specific mission/purpose for the team, but after looking at the assembled team (beyond just their intelligence), I may have come up with both.
Basically, we have heroes who can get in just about anywhere unseen (Mr. Terrific and Atom), a guy who’s impossible to trap/contain (Mr. Miracle), a scientist who has control over light (Dr. Light), an armoured butt-kicker-inventor with a big hammer (Steel), and a guy who can examine machines without taking them apart (The Atom). All of them are super-smart.
Team name: Omega Annex
Mission:
To build me a star ship and then serve as my crew.
No, seriously, here’s their true Mission/Purpose:
To commandeer and protect or disable potentially dangerous (or classified as Omega-level) technology from super-powered threats.
Their first (team-up) storyline:
It begins with each hero receiving a letter informing them of the death of the justice league villain, the Weapons Master, as well as the names of the recipients of the other letters. Huh? Some of them had never met the Weapons Master. So, why are they receiving these letters? The letters request them to see his lawyer (or executor of his will) for more detail. Scientists and inventors are nothing if not curious, so after a few conference calls, they decide to see what’s what.
Once there, his lawyer shows them a video from the Weapons Master – it looks a few years old. WM tells them that although he was a villain, he was basically just in it for himself and not super evil. Bottom line, the Weapons Master bequeathed “keys” to his dimensional armoury, because they were the only ones he trusts. They’re heroes and scientists. Begrudgingly, they accept their inheritance, because as the WM asked in the video recording, “What if it were to fall into the wrong hands?”
On their first or second visit to the armoury, they discover dossiers (including histories, enemies, and psych profiles) on several bad guys and worse guys who are in possession of extremely destructive (planet-killing) weapons plus their intended targets. Of course, the heroes decide to disarm the bad guys and take possession of these weapons for global safe-keeping. Fast-forward to just after their last and most dangerous mission, when the Weapons Master shows up very much alive and “ejects and locks” the newly formed Omega Annex out of his dimensional armoury. Yeah, WM can do that. “Thanks for procuring these weapons. I felt it was too dangerous to risk my own life for them...They’ll make great additions to my collection.”
Of course, it doesn’t end there. These are five super-smart heroes, after all.
Fun facts about Omega Annex:
1] During their free time, they watch a continuous loop of Big Bang Theory re-runs and Discovery Channel documentaries.
2] They have free time, because they built two dedicated computer systems to handle tedious chores like monitor duty (complete with monitor duty banter settings for the team's amusement in case they ever run out of Big Bang Theory re-runs).
Other insights from this fanboy exercise:
I’ve also considered calling them “The thinkers” or “Brains Trust” or “Think Tank” or “Mindworks” or “Heroes Who Think”, but that may have been somewhat insulting to the rest of the DCU.
It was pretty hard to compile this team once I went the Science and Technology hero route. It seems that DC Comics is the universe of detectives (Batman, The Question, Martian Manhunter, Green Arrow, and several others) while Marvel is the universe of scientists (Reed Richards, Professor X, Beast, Hank Pym, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and others).
In the DCU, even those not prone to investigate as heroes have investigative civilian careers such as reporters (Clark Kent) and social workers (Guy Gardner). This is perhaps understandable since the DC in the name DC Comics refers to Detective Comics (the company’s first most popular title). So, DC Comics is really Detective Comics Comics.
In the Marvel U, it’s hard to lob a rock into a bush without hitting a hero with a scientific background. Heck, even Peter Parker was an inventive and scientific genius in high school! It’s also not uncommon for Marvel’s (on average seven or eight member) teams to have three scientist or inventor heroes. It must’ve been the influence of the space race. So, Marvel Comics is really Scientific Marvel Comics.
All of this should make parents happy, because both universes promote asking questions (DC through detection and Marvel through Science) and that is some of the best life advice you can give kids. Superhero comics as life skills tools...Believe it.
Of course, this is off-set by several larger-than-life heroes who are former career-military or law enforcement types who never really question orders until it’s too late (Captain America, Hal Jordan, Hawkman). Hey, no educational material is ever perfect...
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Social Networking and Superheroes: Hero Usage Preferences
Like any good social or behavioural scientist I will start this discussion of the results of my empirical investigation by acknowledging biases of mine that might have influenced the aforementioned results. To accomplish this end, I will briefly outline my impressions of the various social networking platforms/sites in question. Please note that I’ve had varying degrees of exposure to each of these sites:
Blogger / Blogspot:
As you’ve probably noticed, you’re reading a Blogger blog right now. For sheer numbers or at least the perception of an uber-large number of bloggers, Blogspot can’t be beat. In addition, one of the major reasons why I chose to host this blog here is the blog reader, which eliminates a lot of URL typing and even serves as a reminder to look in on blogs you follow. Other sites may have similar mechanisms to the reader, but their user-friendliness pale in comparison.
Wordpress:
I’ve had a Wordpress blog (for past business purposes) and the overarching impression one gets from the site and its bloggers is one of hyper-organization. For one, Wordpress provides great dashboard functionality such as posting stats (e.g. number of visitors, from which links on which they’ve clicked from, etcetera). In addition, the bloggers themselves seem organised along movements (be it news, politics, finance, humor, self-development) and sometimes they seem quite hardline. However, even with WP’s Tag-surfing functionality, it is rather hard to meet like-minded bloggers on the site. The result is a difficulty in creating a robust community i.t.o. interests.
Livejournal:
LJ users are either writers or readers. These bloggers are mostly interested in Fantasy and some Science Fiction. More specifically, they seem to writers who want to be poets OR poets who want to be writers OR writers who complain that they don’t have time to read OR writers who complain that they don’t have time to write OR readers who complain that they don’t have the time to read anything, etc. In addition, LJ seems to be a controversy machine. Every few months, an LJer does something that sparks flamewars across LJ and beyond. Also, LJers have some of the MOST misleading and incomplete user profiles of all bloggers. There is usually a minimalist BIO and interests that are created every time they tag (or label) any post (EVEN if the tag is ONLY USED ONCE in 5 years). Then, there is LJ's tendency to shut down any community that gets too large. Huh? Then there's the billion friends that LJers can amass and I must admit I have a problem calling random strangers (that have never said three words to me) the F-word. “Can I friend you?” “No.”
Typepad:
I’ll admit I don’t follow many Typepad blogs. So, my experience is limited and YMMV. There are some well put together blogs on Typepad. The problem is that for some unknown reason it is pretty difficult to find Typepad bloggers with particular interests through search engines OR at least more difficult than it is to find blogs on the other sites. Still, it has a passionate and somewhat intellectual vibe. I'm tempted to say, "These cats are cool."
Xanga:
Xanga is considered to be one of the “forgotten” blogsites of the internet. However, don’t let this fool you. Xanga is pretty useful for those who want to connect with like-minded peeps. For example, the Blogrings listed in profiles give the visitor a more accurate picture of what the blogger’s interests are and give you access to other bloggers with the same interests.
Facebook:
A glorified photo album for people who want to connect... to other people that they already know? Huh? How idiotic is this, really? So, lots of peeps will keep joining.
Myspace:
An earlier version of Facebook, which has lost much its popularity. However, MySpace is still regarded to be the music and creative promotional blogsite. Those MySpace groups still exist and represent a slightly more established (than facebook) way of promotion and testing the waters, especially for musicians.
Twitter:
The Ham sandwhich I had for lunch was deeeeelish! That’s the type of banality that Twitter deals in 140 characters or less (or is it 120 or 114 characters or less). Wake me when it’s over. The only thing that Twitter MIGHT be useful for someone who is co-ordinating a collaborative project and wants to update collaborators (without personal emails or long blog posts, perhaps because most of update #1 doesn’t differ much from update #2 or #6). For example, a short fiction anthology editor might update interested parties on the progress he has made in reading the slushpile, compiling the short list, and ultimately announcing the Table of Contents. Or just for people who can't / won't keep a blogging schedule (like me).
DeviantART:
This is one of the few specialised social networking sites that has gained popularity by doubling as a personal gallery. Photographers, Comic artists, painters, digital artists, and every other kind of visual artist are on DeviantART. it seems like every up-and-coming artist on the planet seems to be on this site.
So, which superhero uses which social networking platform? For your reading convenience, I've made DC the Blue team and Marvel the Red team...
Batman:
Twitter. Why? Honestly, Bats doesn’t have time to blog or set up a facebook page. Have you ever tried to talk to Batman socially? It’s like talking to a wall. He just ignores you. Furthermore, I’ve seen Batman hang up on more of his fellow heroes than any other hero in the world. Seriously, the JLA will hit their speed-dial and be like, “Batman, we’re so glad we’ve reached you. Apokolips has just invaded Central City and....Batman? Hello?”
Iron Man:
All of the above, but Facebook first... Why? Firstly, Tony Stark is a HUGE narcissist. Secondly, being on all the sites makes it possible for him to register peeps who dare comment negatively ala Civil War. Thirdly, Iron Man is a brand that needs to everywhere.
Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner):
DeviantART. Kyle is a graphic designer and artist. Also his true (????) love and photographer, Jade, is also on DeviantART.
Captain America:
Blogspot. Google’s logo colours remind Cap of the American flag. Cap also doesn’t like the backgrounds of Livejournal’s owners and their crackdown on Freedom of expression.
Zatanna:
None of the above. She uses Youtube and various podcasting sites. Okay, not really social networking per se, but that’s how Zatanna rolls. Why? The whole verbal sorcery thing dictates this one. How is she supposed to wipe your memory via a typed blog or a photo?
Hulk:
“Hulk Smash!” Yeah, sound like Livejournal right there. He’s too controversial to be anywhere else. Remember, World War Hulk, anyone?
Aquaman:
Twitter. Why? With all his constant collapsing and fainting on dry land when he gets thirsty, the short and sweet tweets are the way to go. Need... some... H2O... Please... Must... Find... Water... about... to... collapse...too...late...just...collapsed.
Punisher:
Livejournal. Why? Sounds like War journal. What’s the difference? Bad guys still have to go down!
Mood: Vengeful and Psychotic (as usual)
Listening to: Can’t get you out of my head by Kylie Minogue
Green Arrow:
LiveJournal. Why? Using his somewhat outdated Liberal left-brain logic, Oliver has deduced that most fantasy writers and poets must be women! And ladies’ man Ollie goes where the ladies are! Livejournal = Lothariojournal!
Mood: Horny
Listening to: Escape by Enrique Iglesias
Mr Fantastic:
LiveJournal. Why? Just to de-stress, rant about, and get away from the insane expectation of the rest of the FF and the world.
Mood: Inquisitive
Listening to: The Scientist by Coldplay
Human Torch:
Facebook and Livejournal. Why? Facebook: See Iron Man’s first and third reasons. Livejournal: See Green Arrow’s reason.
Mood: Playfully Horny
Listening to: It’s getting hot in here by Nelly
Blogger / Blogspot:
As you’ve probably noticed, you’re reading a Blogger blog right now. For sheer numbers or at least the perception of an uber-large number of bloggers, Blogspot can’t be beat. In addition, one of the major reasons why I chose to host this blog here is the blog reader, which eliminates a lot of URL typing and even serves as a reminder to look in on blogs you follow. Other sites may have similar mechanisms to the reader, but their user-friendliness pale in comparison.
Wordpress:
I’ve had a Wordpress blog (for past business purposes) and the overarching impression one gets from the site and its bloggers is one of hyper-organization. For one, Wordpress provides great dashboard functionality such as posting stats (e.g. number of visitors, from which links on which they’ve clicked from, etcetera). In addition, the bloggers themselves seem organised along movements (be it news, politics, finance, humor, self-development) and sometimes they seem quite hardline. However, even with WP’s Tag-surfing functionality, it is rather hard to meet like-minded bloggers on the site. The result is a difficulty in creating a robust community i.t.o. interests.
Livejournal:
LJ users are either writers or readers. These bloggers are mostly interested in Fantasy and some Science Fiction. More specifically, they seem to writers who want to be poets OR poets who want to be writers OR writers who complain that they don’t have time to read OR writers who complain that they don’t have time to write OR readers who complain that they don’t have the time to read anything, etc. In addition, LJ seems to be a controversy machine. Every few months, an LJer does something that sparks flamewars across LJ and beyond. Also, LJers have some of the MOST misleading and incomplete user profiles of all bloggers. There is usually a minimalist BIO and interests that are created every time they tag (or label) any post (EVEN if the tag is ONLY USED ONCE in 5 years). Then, there is LJ's tendency to shut down any community that gets too large. Huh? Then there's the billion friends that LJers can amass and I must admit I have a problem calling random strangers (that have never said three words to me) the F-word. “Can I friend you?” “No.”
Typepad:
I’ll admit I don’t follow many Typepad blogs. So, my experience is limited and YMMV. There are some well put together blogs on Typepad. The problem is that for some unknown reason it is pretty difficult to find Typepad bloggers with particular interests through search engines OR at least more difficult than it is to find blogs on the other sites. Still, it has a passionate and somewhat intellectual vibe. I'm tempted to say, "These cats are cool."
Xanga:
Xanga is considered to be one of the “forgotten” blogsites of the internet. However, don’t let this fool you. Xanga is pretty useful for those who want to connect with like-minded peeps. For example, the Blogrings listed in profiles give the visitor a more accurate picture of what the blogger’s interests are and give you access to other bloggers with the same interests.
Facebook:
A glorified photo album for people who want to connect... to other people that they already know? Huh? How idiotic is this, really? So, lots of peeps will keep joining.
Myspace:
An earlier version of Facebook, which has lost much its popularity. However, MySpace is still regarded to be the music and creative promotional blogsite. Those MySpace groups still exist and represent a slightly more established (than facebook) way of promotion and testing the waters, especially for musicians.
Twitter:
The Ham sandwhich I had for lunch was deeeeelish! That’s the type of banality that Twitter deals in 140 characters or less (or is it 120 or 114 characters or less). Wake me when it’s over. The only thing that Twitter MIGHT be useful for someone who is co-ordinating a collaborative project and wants to update collaborators (without personal emails or long blog posts, perhaps because most of update #1 doesn’t differ much from update #2 or #6). For example, a short fiction anthology editor might update interested parties on the progress he has made in reading the slushpile, compiling the short list, and ultimately announcing the Table of Contents. Or just for people who can't / won't keep a blogging schedule (like me).
DeviantART:
This is one of the few specialised social networking sites that has gained popularity by doubling as a personal gallery. Photographers, Comic artists, painters, digital artists, and every other kind of visual artist are on DeviantART. it seems like every up-and-coming artist on the planet seems to be on this site.
So, which superhero uses which social networking platform? For your reading convenience, I've made DC the Blue team and Marvel the Red team...
Batman:
Twitter. Why? Honestly, Bats doesn’t have time to blog or set up a facebook page. Have you ever tried to talk to Batman socially? It’s like talking to a wall. He just ignores you. Furthermore, I’ve seen Batman hang up on more of his fellow heroes than any other hero in the world. Seriously, the JLA will hit their speed-dial and be like, “Batman, we’re so glad we’ve reached you. Apokolips has just invaded Central City and....Batman? Hello?”
Iron Man:
All of the above, but Facebook first... Why? Firstly, Tony Stark is a HUGE narcissist. Secondly, being on all the sites makes it possible for him to register peeps who dare comment negatively ala Civil War. Thirdly, Iron Man is a brand that needs to everywhere.
Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner):
DeviantART. Kyle is a graphic designer and artist. Also his true (????) love and photographer, Jade, is also on DeviantART.
Captain America:
Blogspot. Google’s logo colours remind Cap of the American flag. Cap also doesn’t like the backgrounds of Livejournal’s owners and their crackdown on Freedom of expression.
Zatanna:
None of the above. She uses Youtube and various podcasting sites. Okay, not really social networking per se, but that’s how Zatanna rolls. Why? The whole verbal sorcery thing dictates this one. How is she supposed to wipe your memory via a typed blog or a photo?
Hulk:
“Hulk Smash!” Yeah, sound like Livejournal right there. He’s too controversial to be anywhere else. Remember, World War Hulk, anyone?
Aquaman:
Twitter. Why? With all his constant collapsing and fainting on dry land when he gets thirsty, the short and sweet tweets are the way to go. Need... some... H2O... Please... Must... Find... Water... about... to... collapse...too...late...just...collapsed.
Punisher:
Livejournal. Why? Sounds like War journal. What’s the difference? Bad guys still have to go down!
Mood: Vengeful and Psychotic (as usual)
Listening to: Can’t get you out of my head by Kylie Minogue
Green Arrow:
LiveJournal. Why? Using his somewhat outdated Liberal left-brain logic, Oliver has deduced that most fantasy writers and poets must be women! And ladies’ man Ollie goes where the ladies are! Livejournal = Lothariojournal!
Mood: Horny
Listening to: Escape by Enrique Iglesias
Mr Fantastic:
LiveJournal. Why? Just to de-stress, rant about, and get away from the insane expectation of the rest of the FF and the world.
Mood: Inquisitive
Listening to: The Scientist by Coldplay
Human Torch:
Facebook and Livejournal. Why? Facebook: See Iron Man’s first and third reasons. Livejournal: See Green Arrow’s reason.
Mood: Playfully Horny
Listening to: It’s getting hot in here by Nelly
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The Top 10 Martial Artists in the DCU: The Definitive Ranking (a.k.a. Is Nightwing totally overrated as a martial artist or what?)
Imagine if you had to pick super-heroes as your team of bodyguards for an upcoming trip to a place that didn’t permit super-powered heroes, magic, or alien weaponry. You’d probably pick the heroes with the best martial arts ability...
The ground rules:
1] No amped-up, super-powered martial artists allowed. By ‘super-powered’, I’m referring to people with super-strength, super-speed, super-reflexes, healing factor, used in the commission of throwing devastating punches, kicks, or choke-holds, etc.
2] Only martial artists, not brawlers.
The ranking:
10] Nightwing
Seriously, he has been beaten nearly routinely by just about everyone who can put up their dukes and swing. Principally, that’s because Dick doesn’t fight to his strengths. When you’re not quite as skilled in the punching and kicking department but you’re number 1 in the agility department, you should not be as direct in your hand-to-hand battles. Instead, make your opponent miss with 3 or 4 consecutive blows and then hit an opening: Evade and Hit. It’s obvious.
9] Not Nightwing
8] Even less likely to be Nightwing.
7] Black Canary
She’s always considered top 10 material. Previous rankings put her within the top four (but then some of the other characters on this list did not exist at the time).
6] Azrael
This guy defeated Bane in like two secs. Azrael laid out Nightwing like it wasn’t even a mild workout. Batman himself has always been a little hesitant to take Jean Paul on in a physical match-up, because he might get his ass handed to him.
5] Connor Hawke
Connor is quite possibly destined to take the number one spot in this ranking someday. His metagene and discipline make a difficult customer. Nightwing wishes he was this good.
4] Bronze Tiger
As a non-powered dude, you have to be pretty tough to lead the Suicide Squad. Dude beat Batman a few times. Some peeps will discount the one victory where he came out of nowhere and kicked Bats in the stomach...Hey, wait-a-minute...Isn’t it next to impossible to sneak up on the Dark Knight or Lady Shiva without super-speed or teleportation as a super-power? Surely, this is also included in Batman’s training? Also, Nightwing hasn’t been able to accomplish this feat.
3] Lady Shiva
Nuff said. Nightwing flinches when she comes around.
2] Batman
They say He’s the yardstick. However, the yardstick has had been outclassed by others on the list (and off of it) on occasion. Except for Nightwing.
1] Batgirl
She holds a victory over Lady Shiva in a fair fight. Batman is green with envy. Has also bitch-slapped Nightwing a few times.
The ground rules:
1] No amped-up, super-powered martial artists allowed. By ‘super-powered’, I’m referring to people with super-strength, super-speed, super-reflexes, healing factor, used in the commission of throwing devastating punches, kicks, or choke-holds, etc.
2] Only martial artists, not brawlers.
The ranking:
10] Nightwing
Seriously, he has been beaten nearly routinely by just about everyone who can put up their dukes and swing. Principally, that’s because Dick doesn’t fight to his strengths. When you’re not quite as skilled in the punching and kicking department but you’re number 1 in the agility department, you should not be as direct in your hand-to-hand battles. Instead, make your opponent miss with 3 or 4 consecutive blows and then hit an opening: Evade and Hit. It’s obvious.
9] Not Nightwing
8] Even less likely to be Nightwing.
7] Black Canary
She’s always considered top 10 material. Previous rankings put her within the top four (but then some of the other characters on this list did not exist at the time).
6] Azrael
This guy defeated Bane in like two secs. Azrael laid out Nightwing like it wasn’t even a mild workout. Batman himself has always been a little hesitant to take Jean Paul on in a physical match-up, because he might get his ass handed to him.
5] Connor Hawke
Connor is quite possibly destined to take the number one spot in this ranking someday. His metagene and discipline make a difficult customer. Nightwing wishes he was this good.
4] Bronze Tiger
As a non-powered dude, you have to be pretty tough to lead the Suicide Squad. Dude beat Batman a few times. Some peeps will discount the one victory where he came out of nowhere and kicked Bats in the stomach...Hey, wait-a-minute...Isn’t it next to impossible to sneak up on the Dark Knight or Lady Shiva without super-speed or teleportation as a super-power? Surely, this is also included in Batman’s training? Also, Nightwing hasn’t been able to accomplish this feat.
3] Lady Shiva
Nuff said. Nightwing flinches when she comes around.
2] Batman
They say He’s the yardstick. However, the yardstick has had been outclassed by others on the list (and off of it) on occasion. Except for Nightwing.
1] Batgirl
She holds a victory over Lady Shiva in a fair fight. Batman is green with envy. Has also bitch-slapped Nightwing a few times.
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