Write what you know: A short primer for comic book writers writing long-existing characters or screen writers developing works based on comic books featuring long-existing characters

Write what you know. This is advice that’s almost as old as writing itself. By writing, I’m referring to writing for yourself AND others, but we’ll get back to this point later.

There are generally two main interpretations of Write What You Know (or WWYK, an initialism that should not be confused with World Wide Year One Thousand, DC Comics’ upcoming 1000-issue mega event crossover event where the first 499 issues will be written by Geoff Johns minus any editorial oversight and the last 499 issues by Grant Morrisson minus any editorial oversight with the middle 2 issues co-written by Geoff and Grant after they learn what happens in each other’s 499 issues). SPOILER ALERT: Maxwell Lord gets into the Barber Shop business. Solomon Grundy and Bizarro are the narrators for all 1000 issues. Batman reveals his final contingency plan (you know, the one he would use if and when all of contingency plans were needed at the same time).

Sorry, I was rambling…Back to the two interpretations of Write What You Know…

1] Superficial Interpretation

Write What You Know means write from your own perspective and/or life and/or frame of reference. There is nothing wrong with this and it is in some respects easier. The problem comes in when Write What You Know means ONLY write from your own perspective and/or life and/or frame of reference. The result: A boatload of stories with settings similar or identical to your home town or place of employment, characters similar or identical to yourself or friends, opinions and life philosophies limited to your own…You get the picture.

2] Deeper Interpretation

Write What You Know means doing research before you write anything outside your field of knowledge / frame of reference while applying creativity to avoid thesis-like stories. The deeper interpretation is crucial in writing existing superheroes.

Steps for comic book writers writing long-existing characters or screen writers developing works based on comic books featuring long-existing characters:

1] Read the character bibles (these typically contain character bios, what a character is about [his/her motivation] and the most important events in his life). Of course, some comics companies sometimes misplace these… Black Adam J'onn the whole 52 someone out there have a lozenge or something?

2] Read the different writer’s runs with special emphasis of character portrayal. Let’s say, you’re planning on writing Green Arrow. Green Arrow has been written as the “Liberal Socially Conscious hero”, but during another period he was written a “Night Hunter” type vigilante. Another reason for reading these runs is the smaller story threads that were forgotten about or cut short due to a Mega Crossover Event.

3] Decide which portrayal to use. This could be one specific portrayal or a hybrid (Can you marry the “hyper-prepared Batman” with “the one who is regularly flummoxed by the on-again-off-again residents of Arkham"? Okay, bad example. The big rule here is to figure out which version can help you write the best story you can while not alienating all of that character's fandom. You are going to alienate some - there's no avoiding that. Back to Bats: "Batman: The brave and the bold" version of Bats is great, because it mixes many versions of Bats (e.g. “hyper-prepared Batman” meets "fat-headed, self-satisfied looking silver age Bats" meets "Bats who just loves punching people" meets "Grumpy Bats" meets...)

4] Be CONSISTENT in characterization. We can't blame evil Maxwell Lord or red kryptonite for every out-of-character moment. Inconsistent characterization is jarring to readers. Being consistent also helps you with plot in a "What would Batman do?" kind of way. So, charaterization is sort of mildly uber-important...I think.

So ends the sermon.

Latest issue of A Thousand Faces is online!

Hello loyal reader,

Long time no post...I know...forgive me?

Issue # 12 of A Thousand Faces: The Quarterly Journal of Superhuman Fiction, a magazine that is available to read online for free. Story-wise, this issue is double-sized. So, there lots to read or skip (if some stories don’t match your sensibilities).

I have only read one story so far, Brand X: Double Play. It’s part of a series, but it features a story so far section to catch up / remind readers of what has happened. [Hint to comics companies]

Instructions to read A Thousand Faces webzine for free:
1. Click on the cover of A Thousand Faces (They should really have “Click Here to enter” on that cover – See, it’s not our fault.) This will take you to the Editor Frank Byrns’ column called “Thinking outside the longbox” (clever name) which gives little blurbs about each story contained in the current issue.
2. Click on "New Fiction" on your left.
3. Click on the Story you want to read and enjoy!

Short Fiction about Superheroes: An anthology by another name...

A while back I wrote this post about “With Great Power”, a superhero short fiction anthology edited by Lou Anders. It features stories from the keyboards of Gail Simone, Peter David, Mike Carey and other comic book writers.

Well, while I was being a bad blogger (and had my back turned on the superhero comics / prose worlds), Spider-man’s owners did what they do best and said: “Hey, that’s what Uncle Ben told Peter...Well, half of it at least...Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Mister Anders, you can’t name your anthology that...Everybody knows that Marvel owns those three words in that order. Bottom-line: You are hereby instructed to rename your anthology something else and preferably nothing starting with the uppercase letter “X” as Marvel owns that as well. Have a nice day.”

Peter and his Uncle Ben uttering copyrighted...um...utterances

Anyway, the anthology is now entitled “Masked”. Here’s a short article about it, which doubles as a great teaser (stories like “Cleansed and set in Gold” and “A to Z in the Ultimate Big Superhero Universe (Villains Too)” sound even more intriguing to me having read this write-up). I also found the comments to the article spot on with regard to the benefits / risks to superhero prose (especially those proffered by commenters 214w, Tina Sena, Lou Anders himself, and Powerful Lamp).

Novels and Short Fiction about Superheroes: A Universe-building detour

Okay, another post about superhero novels so quickly? Yes, it’s unusual for me, but I’ve done readers a bit of a disservice by not pointing them to Michael Carroll’s Young Adult works set in his ‘The New Heroes / Quantum Prophecy’ universe.

I felt that it was important to highlight Mister Carroll’s work, because (due to the time-consuming nature of writing novels) novelists general don’t stick to building and expanding universes when it comes to superheroes. George R. R. Martin’s Wildcards is a notable exception.

The New Heroes or Quantum Prophecy series began with the novel, The Quantum Prophecy a.k.a. ‘The Awakening’ (2006). There were two follow-ups entitled Sakkara a.k.a. ‘The Gathering’ (2006) and Absolute Power a.k.a. ‘The Reckoning’ (2007). You can find abridged information about the trilogy here.

The author has also released Superhuman, a collection of short fiction focusing on untold stories taking place in the decade spanning the three novels. No reviews. pity. Here is some info on from the author's website. Strangely, this short story collection has the same name as the fourth novel in the series.

Novels about Superheroes - a rare detour for me...

Novels are generally neglected by 1truegl, but there are three that are somewhat intriguing to me.

First, there’s “Black and White” co-authored by Jackie Kessler and Caitlin Kittredge. It features two female former BFF superheroes as its protagonists who are forced to team up. Black and White is the first in something called the Icarus Project series of superhero novels. Here’s a review from SFsignal. The next novel in the series “Shades of Gray” will be available June 2010.

The second novel I’d like to direct your attention to is “Devil’s Cape” by Rob Rogers. It’s a story about revenge with some “pastichey” characters spanning 35 years. Here’s a review from Sfsite.

The one I’m most excited about is “Ex-Heroes” by Peter Clines. It’s cross-genre novel that actually features a superteam of sorts. Here’s more information.

Throughout this post, you may have noticed my subtle reference to team-ups and superteams (it’s the subtle bolded and italized text). It’s surprisingly rare to have a team-up or superteam novel, considering all them pages that make up them novels. The non-solo aspect is probably a big part of the reason I’m intrigued by above three offerings, because I'm crazy about superteams.

Short Fiction about Superheroes (Part 5)

If you haven't read them yet, here are Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 of this series.

Today, I want to divert your attention to anthology called Lords of Justice, which differs from other anthologies I have spotlighted as is comprised of four novellas. Novellas usually start at 17500 or 20000 or 25000 words, but can go up to about 40000 words. However, these word count limits aren't universally agreed upon (and any ensuing arguments are arbitrary at best).

Here’s an interview from Static Movements with three of the four authors. There is a lot more in this short interview than self-pimpage, including the revelation of each author’s favourite superhero and their take on comparing comics and prose. By the way, the other author is actor Michael Boatman (probably best known for his role in Spin City back in the late 90s).

Then there’s the upcoming anthology called Chicks in Capes, written by chi...er...women about female superheroes. Lori Gentle has more on this project here.

Calling all prose writers who like superheroes...

I came across this yesterday:  http://nomoreheroesanthology.blogspot.com/ 

At the very least, their prologue and character profiles (running the gamut from serious to not serious) are worth reading through. I’ve come across similar non-superhero projects like this before where a story and characters have been set up for writers, but usually they restrict you to say five characters (not the sixty of superhumans available here). In addition, you may choose to create your own and have one or more their creations along for the ride, which sort of makes it more like a comic universe.

Short Fiction about Superheroes (Part 4)

If you haven't read them yet, here are Part 1 and Part 2 as well as Part 3 of my posts on Superhero short fiction.

In my continuing search for short fiction anthologies about those heroes with superpowers or those without powers who are just super, I’ve come across Super-Human: An Anthology by Dan Membiela.

That’s right, it’s by Dan Membiela, not edited by Dan Membiela. Yes, if we want to get technical, it should’ve been called Super-Human: A Collection, because Membiela is the sole author of all eight stories collected.

That said, it’s probably a pretty clever naming strategy, since the author is more known for penning superhero comics. In addition, the name avoids the slightly odd yet popular collection naming convention that takes the form of ‘Story X and Other tales’ that to my mind limits the market to the author’s existing audience and pins all hope on Story X. In fact, putting aside the relative fame of the author within his or her genre for a moment, the success of the collection depends on Story X being the author’s most well-known or most award-winning or best story (in his or his publisher’s opinion). Another thing that the ‘Story X and Other tales’ titles have going against them is the product info aspect of names. For example, Story X may be a superhero story called The Cat in the Mad Hatter’s Hat, which doesn’t scream capes and cowls. That’s where multi-author themed anthologies have always had the upper hand on single-author collections – the former are “theme-explicitly” named or strongly allude to a specific (sub)genre or trope. The anthology version of The Cat in the Mad Hatter’s Hat would be The Purr to Action: A Feline Superhero Anthology or Cat versus Hat: A Feline Superhero Anthology or something better. You get the idea, though.

Nuts. I just thought of a pseudo-technicality that allows Mister Membiela to call his collection an anthology. Never mind, I’m not deleting the above paragraph. No, I...am...not.

Anyway, here’s a review from the Silver Soapbox.

As previously mentioned, in terms of prose fiction, I prefer short fiction over novels. In terms of short fiction, I prefer anthologies (books) over monthly magazines. So, for the last couple of years I’ve only kept up with anthos and have neglected the (monthly and quarterly) zines.

Subsequently, I’ve only recently discovered A Thousand Faces: The Quarterly Journal of Superhuman Fiction, a magazine that is available both for sale in print or online for free on the interwebs. I’ve already read a pretty entertaining story online involving a Mister Brass.

Instructions to read A Thousand Faces webzine for free:

1. Click on the cover of A Thousand Faces (They should really have “Click Here to enter” on that cover – See, it’s not our fault.) This will take you to the Editor Frank Byrns’ column called “Thinking outside the longbox” (clever name) which gives little blurbs about each story contained in the current issue.
2. Click on "New Fiction" on your left.
3. Click on the Story you want to read and enjoy!

Novel about superheroes raises more questions...

A while (almost two years) ago, I heard about an original superhero novel called Soon I will be invincible authored by Austin Grossman. I’ve been undecided about to buy this novel, because (i) I prefer both comics and short fiction to novels and (ii) I’m unclear what to make of the title...

Seriously, what does Grossman mean?

A] Soon I will be invincible (as in: “before you can say Shazam!”)

OR

B] Soon I will be invincible (as in: “That’s right. Me. I’m the one who’ll become invincible. Not you. I!”)

OR

C] Soon I will be invincible (as in: “All you haters that’ve been hating on my ambitions of power can take my future invincibility to the bank. And. Cash. It.”)

OR

D] Soon I will be invincible (as in some sort of existential statement)

OR

E] Soon I will be invincible (as in: “You want to know what I will be in the near future? I’ll be invincible, that’s what!”)

But if you’ve gotten past ‘the mystery’ of the title, check out this review by Karen Healey of Girls read comics. While you’re there, take a look at the cover. The helmet combines the headwear of Magneto and Thor. Is the Grossman or his publisher trying to tell us something? Egomania and Megalomania are a great combination in the same person?

Here’s another review for your enjoyment. I do however differ regarding this reviewer’s opinion about the character named Elphin’s comic book origins.

Here’s yet another from January Magazine.The column title forced me to include it.

Now, go forth and make up your own mind if novels are your thing and superheroes are your other thing.

Short Fiction about superheroes (Part 3)

If you haven’t, please check out Part 1 and Part 2. Hey, I was only planning to do one of these superhero short fiction posts, but it’s amazing how you find things when you’re not looking. Besides, it seems that the non-comic book readers also like superheroes.

Today, I’ll point you to an anthology called, The Darker Mask: Heroes From the Shadows (2008), edited by Gary Philips and Christopher Chambers. This anthology aims to highlight ethnically diverse superheroes through 18 noir stories written by science fiction authors, urban fantasy scribes, and a few comic writers..

Here's a short review. If you only trust comics bloggers, then here’s another review you’ll be more inclined to believe.

Another good deed (now for a new decade). Happy (belated) new year, everyone!

Review blurbs taken from comic book character autobiographies?

As anyone can read from my full profile, my favourite band (by a long way) is Keane, followed by Coldplay and The Killers and maybe My Chemical Romance or Snow Patrol. So, you can see that my tastes fall firmly within the cluster of musical genres of alternative pop rock / synth rock / modern punk rock.

Occasionally, I’d see a television ad for a band that has been on the periphery of my music radar. Such was the case the other day, when an ad for Muse graced my eyeballs.

Like another periphery band, Kings of Leon, the little I heard sounds promising. However, it is Muse’s review blurbs that have really got me curious, because they read like superhero self-promotional dialogue or excerpts from the autobiographies of comic book characters:

‘The best live band in the world...’

Wow! That’s hyped and not too original. Still, it reminds me of the Hulk saying, “Hulk is the strongest one there is!” Probably untrue, but who cares? Someone said it. It’s out there now and just maybe you’ll gain an extra fan or two as a result of it.

‘If only more bands had this level of ambition...’

If you replaced the word ‘bands’ with the word ‘leaders’, you would have a line from Lex Luthor’s future autobiography, Bald Eagle: How Lex Luthor saved America from Superman (written by Lex Luthor).

Of course, ‘Muse’ didn’t write these blurbs themselves, so I’ll cut them some slack...Besides, they seem to fall into the Alternative Rock + Symphonic Rock subgenres and they like toexperiment with Electronica as well as Classical music.

Still, does anyone remember the time (a decade and a half ago) when a movie studio invented a reviewer/critic? I think he was called ‘Paul Wonder’ or something benign-sounding. Every comedy got a ‘hilarious!’ from Mr. Wonder. Every thriller got an ‘electrifying!’ Every drama got a ‘riveting!’ The best part, as I recall, was the studio head’s reaction to this when the critic’s non-existence was confirmed. The studio boss said something to effect of “Wow...don’t know how that happened,” with the perfect ‘heck if I know...must’ve been an accident’ facial expression and body language.

I’m sure if I looked hard enough, I could find other review blurbs for albums, movies, and books that would remind me of some superheroes and villains. How about you?

Just a link

Hi all,

Here's a link to a post that made my day (so far). If you enjoyed my DC-FF-centic post, you'll see two of the heroes mentioned at their worst.

Enjoy!

Short fiction about Superheroes (Part 2)

If you haven’t read it yet, see Part 1 here.

Here’s some advanced news -if you haven’t heard about it already. With Great Power is a Superhero short fiction anthology, edited by Lou Anders and featuring some names in its Table of Contents that you might be familiar with...Peter David, Gail Simone, Mike Carey...Yes, that’s right! Comic book writers!

For further details, here’s a few words from the editor as well as the complete TOC.

Oh, it’s only due out next year (that’s 2010 for the disoriented time travellers out there), but the 2010 release isn't really a problem for time travellers, is it?

Some evergreen laughter-inducing stuff

Whenever I need a pick-me-up for the soul, I head to interwebs to explore the comics blogosphere for some laughs. Sometimes I find new hilarity, but other times I visit some older fare. The following is such evergreen scholarship and, considering my current superhero project, it might be required refresher course reading...

I present 2005's The top ten lamest superherheroes of all time and its sequel.

More recent is this: The crappiest comic superhero.

I don't agree with every hero on the list, though. For example, Vibe (as noted on the Absorbascon) is NOT lame and doesn't belong on any such list.

I could do a list of my own, but it would mirror my “Why I should write a single issue of Legion” post that I’ll refrain from ever posting. Hint: Bouncing Boy and Matter Eater lad DIE on page one.

Short fiction about Superheroes

This is the second of my posts on short fiction that superhero comic readers would enjoy. The first featured a link to a single online short story that didn’t really feature superheroes, but that would (in my opinion) hit the spot for many a comic reader (ala Hellboy or Buffy or Angel or Wetworks). Today, I’ll focus on print short fiction anthologies that actually feature superheroes.

First, I put forth POW!erful Tales: Super-Powered Stories from Beta City, edited by Michael and Christina Lea (2009). The anthology is 210 pages long and contains 18 stories that explore the lives of the heroes and villains of Beta City, the site of a catastrophic event. For a review of this anthology, read this.

Who Can Save Us Now?: Brand-New Superheroes and Their Amazing (Short) Stories, edited by Owen King and John McNally (2008), is another such anthology of the super-powered variety that contains 22 stories. It runs at eclectic 320 pages and has been reviewed here and here.

Another anthology in this rare short fiction genre is Path of the Bold: An anthology of superhero fiction, edited by James Lowder (2003). This anthology is 208 pages and contains 15 tales set in Empire City. For reviews of this anthology, read this and this.

Of course, there is also its prequel, Path of the Just: An anthology of superhero fiction, also edited by James Lowder (2003). This superhero antho also racks up 208 pages and boasts 15 tales, again set in Empire city. For a review of this anthology, click on this. Both of these anthologies are based on an RPG, which is line with my views stated here.

Please note that I haven't read these anthologies yet - this will change soon, though.

Another good deed for the century completed...

Social Networking and Superheroes: Hero Usage Preferences

Like any good social or behavioural scientist I will start this discussion of the results of my empirical investigation by acknowledging biases of mine that might have influenced the aforementioned results. To accomplish this end, I will briefly outline my impressions of the various social networking platforms/sites in question. Please note that I’ve had varying degrees of exposure to each of these sites:

Blogger / Blogspot:
As you’ve probably noticed, you’re reading a Blogger blog right now. For sheer numbers or at least the perception of an uber-large number of bloggers, Blogspot can’t be beat. In addition, one of the major reasons why I chose to host this blog here is the blog reader, which eliminates a lot of URL typing and even serves as a reminder to look in on blogs you follow. Other sites may have similar mechanisms to the reader, but their user-friendliness pale in comparison.

Wordpress:
I’ve had a Wordpress blog (for past business purposes) and the overarching impression one gets from the site and its bloggers is one of hyper-organization. For one, Wordpress provides great dashboard functionality such as posting stats (e.g. number of visitors, from which links on which they’ve clicked from, etcetera). In addition, the bloggers themselves seem organised along movements (be it news, politics, finance, humor, self-development) and sometimes they seem quite hardline. However, even with WP’s Tag-surfing functionality, it is rather hard to meet like-minded bloggers on the site. The result is a difficulty in creating a robust community i.t.o. interests.

Livejournal:
LJ users are either writers or readers. These bloggers are mostly interested in Fantasy and some Science Fiction. More specifically, they seem to writers who want to be poets OR poets who want to be writers OR writers who complain that they don’t have time to read OR writers who complain that they don’t have time to write OR readers who complain that they don’t have the time to read anything, etc. In addition, LJ seems to be a controversy machine. Every few months, an LJer does something that sparks flamewars across LJ and beyond. Also, LJers have some of the MOST misleading and incomplete user profiles of all bloggers. There is usually a minimalist BIO and interests that are created every time they tag (or label) any post (EVEN if the tag is ONLY USED ONCE in 5 years). Then, there is LJ's tendency to shut down any community that gets too large. Huh? Then there's the billion friends that LJers can amass and I must admit I have a problem calling random strangers (that have never said three words to me) the F-word. “Can I friend you?” “No.”

Typepad:
I’ll admit I don’t follow many Typepad blogs. So, my experience is limited and YMMV. There are some well put together blogs on Typepad. The problem is that for some unknown reason it is pretty difficult to find Typepad bloggers with particular interests through search engines OR at least more difficult than it is to find blogs on the other sites. Still, it has a passionate and somewhat intellectual vibe. I'm tempted to say, "These cats are cool."

Xanga:
Xanga is considered to be one of the “forgotten” blogsites of the internet. However, don’t let this fool you. Xanga is pretty useful for those who want to connect with like-minded peeps. For example, the Blogrings listed in profiles give the visitor a more accurate picture of what the blogger’s interests are and give you access to other bloggers with the same interests.

Facebook:
A glorified photo album for people who want to connect... to other people that they already know? Huh? How idiotic is this, really? So, lots of peeps will keep joining.

Myspace:
An earlier version of Facebook, which has lost much its popularity. However, MySpace is still regarded to be the music and creative promotional blogsite. Those MySpace groups still exist and represent a slightly more established (than facebook) way of promotion and testing the waters, especially for musicians.

Twitter:
The Ham sandwhich I had for lunch was deeeeelish! That’s the type of banality that Twitter deals in 140 characters or less (or is it 120  or 114 characters or less). Wake me when it’s over. The only thing that Twitter MIGHT be useful for someone who is co-ordinating a collaborative project and wants to update collaborators (without personal emails or long blog posts, perhaps because most of update #1 doesn’t differ much from update #2 or #6). For example, a short fiction anthology editor might update interested parties on the progress he has made in reading the slushpile, compiling the short list, and ultimately announcing the Table of Contents. Or just for people who can't / won't keep a blogging schedule (like me).

DeviantART:
This is one of the few specialised social networking sites that has gained popularity by doubling as a personal gallery. Photographers, Comic artists, painters, digital artists, and every other kind of visual artist are on DeviantART. it seems like every up-and-coming artist on the planet seems to be on this site.


So, which superhero uses which social networking platform? For your reading convenience, I've made DC the Blue team and Marvel the Red team...

Batman:
Twitter. Why? Honestly, Bats doesn’t have time to blog or set up a facebook page. Have you ever tried to talk to Batman socially? It’s like talking to a wall. He just ignores you. Furthermore, I’ve seen Batman hang up on more of his fellow heroes than any other hero in the world. Seriously, the JLA will hit their speed-dial and be like, “Batman, we’re so glad we’ve reached you. Apokolips has just invaded Central City and....Batman? Hello?”

Iron Man:
All of the above, but Facebook first... Why? Firstly, Tony Stark is a HUGE narcissist. Secondly, being on all the sites makes it possible for him to register peeps who dare comment negatively ala Civil War. Thirdly, Iron Man is a brand that needs to everywhere.

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner):
DeviantART. Kyle is a graphic designer and artist. Also his true (????) love and photographer, Jade, is also on DeviantART.

Captain America:
Blogspot. Google’s logo colours remind Cap of the American flag. Cap also doesn’t like the backgrounds of Livejournal’s owners and their crackdown on Freedom of expression.

Zatanna:
None of the above. She uses Youtube and various podcasting sites. Okay, not really social networking per se, but that’s how Zatanna rolls. Why? The whole verbal sorcery thing dictates this one. How is she supposed to wipe your memory via a typed blog or a photo?

Hulk:
“Hulk Smash!” Yeah, sound like Livejournal right there. He’s too controversial to be anywhere else. Remember, World War Hulk, anyone?

Aquaman:
Twitter. Why? With all his constant collapsing and fainting on dry land when he gets thirsty, the short and sweet tweets are the way to go. Need... some... H2O... Please... Must... Find... Water... about... to... collapse...too...late...just...collapsed.

Punisher:
Livejournal. Why? Sounds like War journal. What’s the difference? Bad guys still have to go down!
Mood: Vengeful and Psychotic (as usual)
Listening to: Can’t get you out of my head by Kylie Minogue

Green Arrow:
LiveJournal. Why? Using his somewhat outdated Liberal left-brain logic, Oliver has deduced that most fantasy writers and poets must be women! And ladies’ man Ollie goes where the ladies are! Livejournal = Lothariojournal!
Mood: Horny
Listening to: Escape by Enrique Iglesias

Mr Fantastic:
LiveJournal. Why? Just to de-stress, rant about, and get away from the insane expectation of the rest of the FF and the world.
Mood: Inquisitive
Listening to: The Scientist by Coldplay

Human Torch:
Facebook and Livejournal. Why? Facebook: See Iron Man’s first and third reasons. Livejournal: See Green Arrow’s reason.
Mood: Playfully Horny
Listening to: It’s getting hot in here by Nelly

Why Science-loving Superheroes generally don't have Telepathy

These two make quite a pair, don't they? Being best friends...

But looks can be deceiving....

The Thing's thought-bubble: That douchebag Reed can discover seven ways to make Pepsi stay carbonated out of the bottle, but ask him about a cure for me and he's all 'Ben, Science takes time.' You know, if I wasn't so used to penthouse-living, I'd clobber his ass into a specimen jar...


Yeah, Telepathy would be too much of a burden on the super-smart scientist-heroes of the world...

I'm a cheating bastard and hero-slut: Fantasy superhero team selection controversy ensues!

First of all, let me clear something up. My fantasy team of four doesn’t have a name, because the whole quest was prompted by a broader question: Who are your 4 favourite superheroes?

This, to me and I’m sure many other superhero comics readers, is an unfathomably difficult question to answer, Yes, I said unfathomably difficult (too dramatic?). Keep in mind that I have read comic universes as far and wide as DC, Marvel, Image, Valiant, and many more obscure.

So I decided to change the question to: Who would be on your 4-hero super-team?

Actually, I’ve decided to cheat some more and change the question once more to...drum roll please...Who would be on your 8-hero super-team?

Yes, I know I’m a cheat, but if you love as many superheroes as I do, it’s impossible to boil it down to just four. Call me a hero-slut if you must...

The new question gave me additional team-composition / team-selection criteria beyond the cool hero criteria of Powers, Personality, Look, such as:
• Team Power Mix
• Team personality Mix

The team so far:

Wolverine
Why he made the cut:
Beyond the adamantium claws, healing factor, heightened senses, agility, and over 100 years of fighting experience, Logan’s personality makes him invaluable to any team. Wolvie simply never gives up, no matter how bad the odds are for victory. He’s incredibly loyal, but if a team-mate ever betrayed the team, said team-mate would eat adamantium. One-man-team-loyalty-programme? Check.

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner, not Hal Jordan)
Why Kyle made the cut:
Yes, you read correctly. Kyle Rayner, not Hal Jordan. Now before HEAT sends me some hate mail, I’ll reveal that I have read (and liked) Hal as Green Lantern long before Kyle showed up. So, I’m not one of those 16-to-22-year-olds that have never seen Hal in action and by default like Kyle. The Hypothesis goes something like this: Will Power and Imagination are positively related to Green Lantern ring-use effectiveness. In less scientific terms, the more will power and imagination you have, the better you can use the GL power ring to create ring-constructs. Hal and Kyle are just about equal in will power terms, although no tests have been conducted. We’re all agreed on that, aren’t we? Yes? Okay, so then Kyle has to get the nod, because Mister Rayner is the most imaginative/creative GL in history, bar none. “Hal Jordan never grows tired of using a giant hand in combat,” said Sinestro
Why Green Lantern made the cut:
Green Lantern is the most adaptable hero (in terms of offence and defence) and doesn’t always have to go through opponents.

Black Panther
Why he made the cut:
This bad-ass is a great leader and, to my mind, a better strategist and tactician than any other Avenger. Yeah, it’s strange he hasn’t at least been made second in command of Earth’s supposed mightiest heroes. Being the ruler of scientifically advanced Wakanda, T’Challa can also fill the team’s science needs. Then there his vibranium-laced suit that enables him to move in perfect stealth, jump eight stories without injury, and run up and down walls. The suit also sports retractable claws and can generate handy energy blades. Not impressed enough? Well, there’s this little footnote: The dude defeated the Fantastic Four all by himself. Not many superheroes or villains have done on their first attempt...

Black Bolt
Why he made the cut:
Can you flatten mountains with your voice? No? How about Electron energy blasts? Strength? Flight? Can you analyze and manipulate matter? No to all of the above? Well then, Black Bolt has to be on the roster. This inhuman is also a leader – the noble kind. Like T’Challa, he has also defeated the Fantastic Four single-handedly.

Phoenix
Why she made the cut:
She’s a better leader than Vanilla Cy...I mean Cyclops. As Phoenix, Jean Grey is mad powerful. In addition, she’ll be the whole reason Logan joins up. And someone’s got to telepathically translate silence into speech for Black bolt, right?

Metamorpho
Why he made the cut:
Dude can turn into any compound he wants. He’s a former soldier of fortune, adventurer, and highly regarded archaeologist. This guy is a walking adventure-machine! Also, I seem to remember Joe Kelly (through the talking head of Batman) going on about how Plastic Man is Sooo powerful because he survived a few thousand years at the bottom of the ocean...Big deal. Metamorpho can’t really die either and his power is way better than plastic guy’s...flaccidness. Another thing: there are a lot of heroes who were just created for comic relief, but Rex Mason isn’t one of them. No, he’s one of the rarer few who are serious during combat as well as wonderfully sarcastic and cynical at other times. Metamorpho rocks!
Metamorpho to Batman: “And you stand there in a bat-suit and talk to me about being rational?” (quote may not be 100% accurate – almost two decades ago now)

The Vision
Why he made the cut:
Intelligence and intangibility are Uber-useful in all hero situations. Infrared and microwave radiation beams are pretty handy too...Also, every team needs one machine/android hero, doesn’t it? I’ve always felt that Vision’s calm and analytical demeanour is a vital component to the Avengers. But who does Marvel move to front of the Avengers spotlight? Ass-clowns like Thor and ego-maniacs like Iron Man...

Iron Butterfly
Why she made the cut:
Every team needs a winged member, doesn’t it? Granted hers are part of her metal armour, but still. She’s also a field leader, though more militaristic than inspirational or charismatic in nature. She’s a Ferro-kinetic, you know, able to move and shape metallic objects. Better power than magnetism. How's that, you ask? Imagine the team is lost and the GPS isn’t working, would you want a team member who is causing compass deviations? "No, north was that way a minute ago and now it's this way. What gives?" Also, she’s ruthless – someone has to help Wolverine when a villain needs to be permanently stomped...

This may have escaped very few of you, but I place a premium on leadership experience and leadership potential. Heck, a villain could take out two first line leaders like Phoenix and Black Panther...Oh noes! Wait-a-sec, Black Bolt and Iron Butterfly are there to lead the troops (or vice versa)!

You’ll notice that all of my picks are already on teams...
X-men: Wolverine, Phoenix
Avengers: Black Panther, Vision, Wolverine (New Avengers)
JLA: Green Lantern, Metamorpho
Inhumans: Black Bolt
Shadow Cabinet: Iron Butterfly

The unlucky ones:

The dead hero-guys: Killrazor (Codename: Strykeforce), Backlash ([well, not dead, but hopelessly under-used] Stormwatch, Team 7), Tezumak (Justice League America - last moment spent as a hero)

The Plain unlucky heroes:
Wildfire (Legion of Super-heroes), Shadow Lass (Legion of Super-heroes), Ash (Event Comics), Azrael, Black Canary (Justice League America), Die Hard (Team Youngblood), Black Adam (JSA), Gambit (X-Men)

There you have it! My fantasy 8-member superhero team. How would your fantasy hero team look?