The world's most controversial Avengers dream roster - DC fan, don't look away...

I know, I know, some of you are DC exclusive, but there are some easter eggs even for you in this post as well. In celebration of Marvel's relaunch of Avengers, I decided to reveal my current dream line-up of Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

It's controversial for a number of reason. Chief among these is the fact that I have omitted these guys:
Captain America
Iron Man
Thor
Hawkeye

Some might call me a hypocrite for picking a non-classic Avengers line-up, since I’ve said that you can’t have a JLA without Supes, Bats, WW, Flash, Martian Manhunter, and a GL.

Here's my current Avengers dream roster:

Vision

My love for the synthezoid Avenger is well-known. On this roster, Vision will be the team's co-leader.

Black Panther

My pick as the other co-leader of the team: Master strategist and someone who thrives when he has to pull his team out of the fire. Where Captain America is the inspirational leader (as "we'll follow this guy to hell and back.") and Iron Man is the Charismatic leader (as in "what shellhead said really appealed to me...let's do what he says..."), the pair of Black Panther and Vision are pragmatic leaders.

Black Knight

Dane Whitman is probably the most popular under-appreciated superhero in the Marvel U. Yes, he's been an Avenger before, but the writers haven't capitalized on his awesomeness. I mean he's a scientist whose origins are locked up in Arthurian lore. That, and Black Knight genetically engineered himself a flying horse - more than once!

Spider-woman (Jessica Drew)

She's a current fan fave and pretty useful in a tight spot. Spider-woman I is actually my second favourite person to assume the identity, which brings us to my next pick...

Spider-woman (Julia Carpenter)

I knew of her before I knew of Jessica Drew, even though Jeesica is the original Spider-woman. Okay, now you realise that I've got two spider-women on my roster. Look, the characters hit different notes for me. Hey, psionic webbing is much better than Spidey's real webbing, which looks gross while it dissolves and poses a slip hazard. Spidey is going to get sued one of these days. Back to Julia: Every team needs a government operative and Spider-woman II is one of the cooler ones around (think more and less Captain Atom).

Darkhawk

Darkhawk is another underappreciated hero who fought his way onto this roster. I've always liked the character and he's always looked so menacing. Here's an extremely summarized version of his life story.

Nova

Why isn't Nova running the Marvel U? Here's a hero career summary for your conveniance. Like GL, but not. And that's a good thing. In addition, check out some snazzy Nova covers brought to us by the biggest Nova fan in the entire comics Blogosphere. By the way, Marel has just made this dude a Secret Avenger. About time, I say.

Paladin

If your name is Lissbirds, you should propose to this guy. Now. What? You mostly go for non-powered guys? Well, Paladin has superstrength and superspeed, but only slightly more than Captain America. Oh, did I mention he's detective/mercenary (weird combo, but you like weird). Paladin will flirt with any woman who moves. Any woman who moves. All comic blogger gals are mad for that type, aren't you? It gets better. He wears purple. Nuff said. Another satisfied customer of the internet's premier superhero matchmaker. No thanks needed.

Argent (of Clan Destine)

This team needs a long-lived member, but not an arrogant one like Thor. Samantha Destine is a loner and every team needs one of those as well. Then every team needs a character with family baggage. Check. And then some. Argent's also a real artisit. I dig artistic women. I think GL Kyle Rayner would dig her too. Wow. That's two in one day. The matchmaker is on fire!!!!

Intra-team relationships:

Black Knight dislikes Paladin (ever so slightly), because while team mates Paladin has been a Master cock-blocker (what with getting in the way of Black Knight hooking up with Wasp and others).

I can’t wait to see Paladin and the ladies of the team interact. Some will of course find his charm endearing while others are likely react negatively to his attentions.

Darkhawk and Nova are former teammates from The New Warriors (which was a teen superhero team that was different to the Titans in that none of its members were sidekicks. These guys built their reps on solid heroing and didn't have sidekick passports

Darkhawk and Spider-woman (Julia Carpenter) are close friends and former founding teammates of the Secret Defenders. Darkhawk has also been a reserve member of the West Coast Avengers of which Spider-woman had full membership.

Argent is a bit of an outsider here, but every team needs an outsider or at least a detached observer. In addition, her longevity gives her a unique perspective. To those of you who are anti-superteam-member-hook-up, I don’t think Argent would join the Avengers with a hook-up in mind. However, there is a built-in “hook-up that will/can never be” that I have in mind between her and Black Knight, because Dane has been burned by the magical type before in the past. Maybe I’m being a little too Elektra in my thinking with Argent’s dad being a knight and Black Knight being…well…a knight.

I’m curious to see if Argent makes any friends – she’s artistic. Is there someone she’ll be drawn to as a friend or confidant? Which Spider-woman will she like best or tolerate? My money’s on Julia Carpenter, but I could be wrong.

I'd be interested to see how Panther and Vision deal with such an unpredictable line-up. Knowing them, they could make it work.

Clichés and Superhero comics: From Nature to Cap

I’ve watched a lot of nature documentaries (Natural Geographic and the like) over the years. Every now and then I’ll watch one about sharks. In about 99% of these documentaries, the narrator will say something to the effect of:

“Often depicted as mindless killing machines, sharks are misunderstood beasts....In fact, you are more likely to be killed [insert activity or type of death]. Only X number of deaths [where X >1] per year are attributed to shark attacks.”

To which I usually say, “No, there’s really no misunderstanding about sharks. If they attack you, you’re likely to die or suffer serious injury. X number is still a number. Sharks aren’t 100% harmless. On the other hand, in a documentary about lions or crocodiles, it is always made absolutely clear that no matter how few (lion or crocodile) attacks there may be, that it is best to stay away from these killing machines.”

Okay, I’ve rambled on a bit. The point is that the typical narration excerpt above has become a cliché in Shark documentaries.

Clichés. They’re out there. Even in superheroes comic books.

No, I’m not talking about origin tropes in superhero (subgenre) comic books. A trope is different from a cliché.

I’m referring to clichés that show up in hero characterization. One of the biggest of writer-sins (and it IS a writer-sin) is have the hero be your Mary Sue (the character that never does anything wrong AND/OR never loses a fight AND/OR gets spoken about in glowing terms whenever said character isn’t around, etcetera).

“But he is the HERO”, you say?

Sure. He/She is the hero, but even in single hero comic books, there are often other heroes in the supporting cast who should be allowed to shine from time to time. For example, look at Nightwing in the Bat-books...Okay, maybe Nightwing is perhaps a better Anti-Mary-Sue (See this post) - some fans have posited that Nightwing is there to make Batman/Bruce Wayne look good in his heroic exploits.

Another writer-sin is how other people (and even fellow heroes) react to certain heroes. See every comic in which a young hero meets the Avengers. Even if young hero has a lot of experience and has been around for ages, some writers will make this hero fall over themselves in fanboy-like worship and say things "OMG, I've just met the Avengers and Cap just called me 'son'...The...A...vengers!"

To which I say, "Wake up, kid. Cap calls everyone son. It's his thing. Hey, it's not like you met the JLA."

Yeah...The JLA (big seven) might make me act like that, but not The Avengers. Sorry, Marvel.

That's just me.

I'm SURE that you can think of many other clichés in Superhero comics and particular writer-hero-combos that tend to transgress every now and then.

I'm a cheating bastard and hero-slut: Fantasy superhero team selection controversy ensues!

First of all, let me clear something up. My fantasy team of four doesn’t have a name, because the whole quest was prompted by a broader question: Who are your 4 favourite superheroes?

This, to me and I’m sure many other superhero comics readers, is an unfathomably difficult question to answer, Yes, I said unfathomably difficult (too dramatic?). Keep in mind that I have read comic universes as far and wide as DC, Marvel, Image, Valiant, and many more obscure.

So I decided to change the question to: Who would be on your 4-hero super-team?

Actually, I’ve decided to cheat some more and change the question once more to...drum roll please...Who would be on your 8-hero super-team?

Yes, I know I’m a cheat, but if you love as many superheroes as I do, it’s impossible to boil it down to just four. Call me a hero-slut if you must...

The new question gave me additional team-composition / team-selection criteria beyond the cool hero criteria of Powers, Personality, Look, such as:
• Team Power Mix
• Team personality Mix

The team so far:

Wolverine
Why he made the cut:
Beyond the adamantium claws, healing factor, heightened senses, agility, and over 100 years of fighting experience, Logan’s personality makes him invaluable to any team. Wolvie simply never gives up, no matter how bad the odds are for victory. He’s incredibly loyal, but if a team-mate ever betrayed the team, said team-mate would eat adamantium. One-man-team-loyalty-programme? Check.

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner, not Hal Jordan)
Why Kyle made the cut:
Yes, you read correctly. Kyle Rayner, not Hal Jordan. Now before HEAT sends me some hate mail, I’ll reveal that I have read (and liked) Hal as Green Lantern long before Kyle showed up. So, I’m not one of those 16-to-22-year-olds that have never seen Hal in action and by default like Kyle. The Hypothesis goes something like this: Will Power and Imagination are positively related to Green Lantern ring-use effectiveness. In less scientific terms, the more will power and imagination you have, the better you can use the GL power ring to create ring-constructs. Hal and Kyle are just about equal in will power terms, although no tests have been conducted. We’re all agreed on that, aren’t we? Yes? Okay, so then Kyle has to get the nod, because Mister Rayner is the most imaginative/creative GL in history, bar none. “Hal Jordan never grows tired of using a giant hand in combat,” said Sinestro
Why Green Lantern made the cut:
Green Lantern is the most adaptable hero (in terms of offence and defence) and doesn’t always have to go through opponents.

Black Panther
Why he made the cut:
This bad-ass is a great leader and, to my mind, a better strategist and tactician than any other Avenger. Yeah, it’s strange he hasn’t at least been made second in command of Earth’s supposed mightiest heroes. Being the ruler of scientifically advanced Wakanda, T’Challa can also fill the team’s science needs. Then there his vibranium-laced suit that enables him to move in perfect stealth, jump eight stories without injury, and run up and down walls. The suit also sports retractable claws and can generate handy energy blades. Not impressed enough? Well, there’s this little footnote: The dude defeated the Fantastic Four all by himself. Not many superheroes or villains have done on their first attempt...

Black Bolt
Why he made the cut:
Can you flatten mountains with your voice? No? How about Electron energy blasts? Strength? Flight? Can you analyze and manipulate matter? No to all of the above? Well then, Black Bolt has to be on the roster. This inhuman is also a leader – the noble kind. Like T’Challa, he has also defeated the Fantastic Four single-handedly.

Phoenix
Why she made the cut:
She’s a better leader than Vanilla Cy...I mean Cyclops. As Phoenix, Jean Grey is mad powerful. In addition, she’ll be the whole reason Logan joins up. And someone’s got to telepathically translate silence into speech for Black bolt, right?

Metamorpho
Why he made the cut:
Dude can turn into any compound he wants. He’s a former soldier of fortune, adventurer, and highly regarded archaeologist. This guy is a walking adventure-machine! Also, I seem to remember Joe Kelly (through the talking head of Batman) going on about how Plastic Man is Sooo powerful because he survived a few thousand years at the bottom of the ocean...Big deal. Metamorpho can’t really die either and his power is way better than plastic guy’s...flaccidness. Another thing: there are a lot of heroes who were just created for comic relief, but Rex Mason isn’t one of them. No, he’s one of the rarer few who are serious during combat as well as wonderfully sarcastic and cynical at other times. Metamorpho rocks!
Metamorpho to Batman: “And you stand there in a bat-suit and talk to me about being rational?” (quote may not be 100% accurate – almost two decades ago now)

The Vision
Why he made the cut:
Intelligence and intangibility are Uber-useful in all hero situations. Infrared and microwave radiation beams are pretty handy too...Also, every team needs one machine/android hero, doesn’t it? I’ve always felt that Vision’s calm and analytical demeanour is a vital component to the Avengers. But who does Marvel move to front of the Avengers spotlight? Ass-clowns like Thor and ego-maniacs like Iron Man...

Iron Butterfly
Why she made the cut:
Every team needs a winged member, doesn’t it? Granted hers are part of her metal armour, but still. She’s also a field leader, though more militaristic than inspirational or charismatic in nature. She’s a Ferro-kinetic, you know, able to move and shape metallic objects. Better power than magnetism. How's that, you ask? Imagine the team is lost and the GPS isn’t working, would you want a team member who is causing compass deviations? "No, north was that way a minute ago and now it's this way. What gives?" Also, she’s ruthless – someone has to help Wolverine when a villain needs to be permanently stomped...

This may have escaped very few of you, but I place a premium on leadership experience and leadership potential. Heck, a villain could take out two first line leaders like Phoenix and Black Panther...Oh noes! Wait-a-sec, Black Bolt and Iron Butterfly are there to lead the troops (or vice versa)!

You’ll notice that all of my picks are already on teams...
X-men: Wolverine, Phoenix
Avengers: Black Panther, Vision, Wolverine (New Avengers)
JLA: Green Lantern, Metamorpho
Inhumans: Black Bolt
Shadow Cabinet: Iron Butterfly

The unlucky ones:

The dead hero-guys: Killrazor (Codename: Strykeforce), Backlash ([well, not dead, but hopelessly under-used] Stormwatch, Team 7), Tezumak (Justice League America - last moment spent as a hero)

The Plain unlucky heroes:
Wildfire (Legion of Super-heroes), Shadow Lass (Legion of Super-heroes), Ash (Event Comics), Azrael, Black Canary (Justice League America), Die Hard (Team Youngblood), Black Adam (JSA), Gambit (X-Men)

There you have it! My fantasy 8-member superhero team. How would your fantasy hero team look?